Title:
The Break Up Test
By:
Noelle Messier
It's Valentines Day at the Tic Tac Toad, game and poetry bar in Los Angeles. Down to earth, Pete plays chess with his best friend and tough but sensitive, army veteran who wants to be a veterinarian, Dutch as they bitterly, banter about dating with Pete's arrogant, advertising, co-worker, Kevin, and the snarky, lesbian, bar owner, Thea. One of Pete's recent ex-girlfriends throws a drink in his face and he realizes that you don't really know how crazy a person is until you break up with them. The buddies propose a new game where they choose four women to date for a month and then break up with. If the women pass the Break Up Test and don't lash out like psychos, then the competitors have to woo them back in order to win the game. Kevin finds one of his exes taking a dump on his Porsche and the game is on.
The game players find their test subjects in the bar. Pete goes for intelligent, Cate who believes in fate, and co-owns a PR company with quirky, short, and curvy, Jessica. Dutch wants a chance with Jessica, who already thinks he's a stalker, and Kevin goes for celebrity fitness guru and Pomeranian dog lover, Pommie Rey. Thea takes on an extra challenge and chooses straight, good girl, Sandy, who is Pommie Rey's assistant.
After overcoming a few obstacles, Kevin, Dutch, and Thea manage to woo, date, and sleep with their marks. Pete however cannot get Cate into bed. Cate's crush from the third grade, Jimmy, a handsome dairy farmer from Connecticut, who she recently connected with on social media, enters the picture and becomes Pete's competition. When Cate's PR company and Pete's ad agency join together to promote Pommie's Hollywood Heart Hike, charity event, Pete manages to charm Cate but loses his erection when he lies. When Pete begins to share his soul and fears with Cate in a real way, they begin to fall in love, and the deal is sealed.
Saint Patrick's day is the designated date for the break ups and all the couples get their hearts broken. On Easter, the date of the Hollywood Heart Hike, reconciliations look bleak. Misunderstandings, an ex-girlfriend, a mysterious, gay stalker, an angry, dairy farmer, a cheating father, dogs, and a snake on the hiking trail, complicate matters. In the end, Pete loses his Pinocchio erection complex, gets the girl, and all of the couples find true love and win the game. The Break Up Test is a fun, high concept, character driven, buddy comedy about love, honesty, and forgiveness.